Brand New Dumb Things!

1. I was looking for a hooded sweatshirt in Lucy's closet this morning when I discovered a brand new pair of girl's Lands End snow boots in her current size that I had forgotten about. Lucy has been in need of a new pair of boots since mid-January and I didn't buy new ones because I thought we'd just make due. At least I didn't cave in and buy a second new pair this season.

2. When Lucy and I came home from pre-school today I helped her inside, and then got distracted sorting laundry and checking e-mail. Half an hour later the mailman rang the doorbell (bringing me my new Atlas of Bird Migration!) and said, "you know your car door is open, right?" I had forgotten to bring in the rest of our stuff from the car, including my purse! At least I didn't leave the car running -- hope the battery is not dead.

On an unrelated note, it dawned on me that Henry is now old enough that I no longer feel the need to enforce things like our "no cheesy t-shirt policy" and our absolute refusal to allow toy guns in the house. He got a combo gun/light saber thing for his birthday as well as a Pokemon t-shirt. He loves both so much. I hope we're not making a mistake by giving in. The next thing I know my kids will repeal the "no eating ice cream sold from trucks" rule and summer will be a series of ruined dinners and frantic searches for pocket change.

Parting is such sweet sorrow

While it may seem logical, given the title, that I'm going to post about all the people I saw over the weekend at Old Home Days -- which was the best year yet by far -- no, I'm going to wonder aloud why I can't throw anything away.

1. Aside from my Pappagallo purse, I've held onto things which no sentimental value, such as a tube of Peppermint foot lotion that I purchased at the Jamaica Plain CVS in 1996. I've moved this particular item three times since owning it. After I publish this post the lotion is going in the trash.

2. I have a pair of brown M+M earrings that have a lowercase "e" on them, purchased for me by my mom at Love of Pete in 1981 or 1982. Why? I have unsharpened pencils that are just as old which I kept because they were decorated with alligators or lollipops or something.

3. I have trouble growing plants from seed because I just can't bring myself to thin them enough. I dig out the seedlings that I should be throwing away and plant them in little pots, and then water them until they get too big for the pot before I give up trying to find homes for them.

4. I hang onto computer files and e-mail, and I still have every promo CD that I've ever received, and in many cases I kept the mailing envelope and the one sheet as well.

5. I discovered over the weekend that I have two old cell phones and three working cameras that are not in use.

Any ideas how to break this habit?

White Board Update

My mom tells me the White Board is already in the Smithsonian.

Classic WWW moment.

What I learned on the streets

If you lock your keys in your car at your daughter's pre-school it will take AAA over an hour to arrive, but less than 45 seconds to unlock your car.

Newer Dumb Things

1. I packed a sandwich for Cary in his lunch that contained two-week old deli turkey. This was in no way intentional -- and thankfully he did not get sick! I didn't even notice until I went to add the fresh turkey I had just purchased to the fridge that we actually had two packages from previous weeks that I had failed to throw out, and I had made his sandwich from the oldest one. Now, you might ask, "What if Cary made his own lunches?" The outcome would have, in all likelihood, been the same.

2. Last week I called the cable company and announced to them that I had failed to put a check in the envelope along with my payment coupon. OK, no problem. We did an e-check over the phone and I felt slightly silly until yesterday when the bill was returned to me. I had put the payment coupon in upside down and backwards, so the Postal Service couldn't read the address, BUT I had also included a check This lead me to panic and think that I had not sent the credit card company a check. After calling, hearing that we owed no money at this time I decided to do what I should have done in the first place -- scrutinize the check register. Actually I just skipped ahead and wrote down the number so it looked like a check was missing, but everything was fine all along. I'd like to point out that I also use Quicken to do all of the math for the bills, or we would never have a balanced check book.


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Now playing: LCD Soundsystem - Disco Infiltrator (Fk's Infiltrated Vocal)

Like Lazarus

my iPod is risen! I think my battery problem stemmed from having left it in the car overnight. It seems fine now. I did also learn that I cannot replace my own battery because it is a Nano and the battery is soldered to the motherboard. Indeed.

And Jen14221 is totally right - I computed days per dollar not dollars per day, so the true cost per day if my iPod had died would have been 36 cents a day, which is so much more reasonable. Thank god my life does not depend on my ability to do arithmetic. I would be so dead.

Something else has risen up too -- it's my 2007 top ten! (Because January 14th '08 is seriously the last possible day I could have done this, and anyone who knows anything does it before Pitchfork anyway).

It turns out there were only five records I liked enough to include:

1. Of Montreal -- Hissing Fauna, Are You the Destroyer?
2. Jens Lekman -- Night Falls Over Kortedala
3. LCD Soundsystem -- Sound of Silver
4. St. Vincent -- Marry Me
5. Menomena -- Friend and Foe


It wasn't like there wasn't a lot of good music to listen to in 2007, but like my pal Mr. Parnell over at "SLE," a lot of it didn't reach my expectations.

MIA, Band of Horses, Arcade Fire, Voxtrot, White Stripes, Fiery Furnaces, Rilo Kiley, Mary Timony, Clap Your Hands Say Yeah -- I paid money for all of your CDs and they weren't half as interesting as catching Ghostland Observatory on Austin City Limits or listening to Prinzhorn Dance School rip off the Fall better than anyone else in recent memory. I don't think I have recovered yet from the Feist record either, but that isn't really her fault.

!!!, Life Without Buildings and the Shins were legitimate also-rans, but those records don't have the staying power that my top five did.

I also have to mention that my favorite Metric album of all time Grow Up and Blow Away technically came out this year, but since it dates back to like 2001 I can't really put it on my list. Ditto that remix record by The Blow -- I liked it, but it was hardly new. And the Datarock record fits in that category too, sort of.

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Now playing: Of Montreal - Cato as Pun

I've been busy...

During the afternoon of the 31st I took Lucy to a birthday party at a neighbor's house where I child I never met before required me to shepherd her to the toilet so she could vomit. She then informed me that "she had been at the doctor's that morning because she had been throwing up."

When we got home I left my keys in the front door until I needed them 24 hours later. Convenient.

And it took me an extra day to post these shenanigans.

Happy New Year!

It was another very long weekend

1. I visited Henry's classroom on Friday afternoon because he was going to read aloud to the class. He did, and it was cute. But I learned from his teacher that he had refused to cooperate during the math testing she needed to do with him, for his report card. Could we stay after school so she could finish up? What else could I say. Thanks, Henry, for keeping me after school. It may have been the first time but I'm sure it won't be the last.

2. We went to the hockey game with some friends on Friday night, which was pretty fun even though the Sabres lost 3-0. I miss Briere. The sitter left Lucy's door open, so Cary closed it. The next morning she was locked in her room. It took me at least twenty minutes to jimmy the mechanism inside that pops the lock because I forgot you have to turn the knob while you are pushing on the thingy inside that releases the lock. Lucy was terrified and she now has trouble sleeping in her bed. We have to go to an auction at her pre-school tonight and my parents have to put her to sleep. I am very afraid for them.

3. Cary took the kids outside to rake on Sunday and I thought I would get a jump on folding the laundry. When I opened the dryer I found a crayon had melted all over the clothes. Thank god it was a dark load. The only thing that got ruined was a pair of Henry's swim trunks. But the inside of my brand new dryer, the one that doesn't eat clothing, and I just paid off two weeks ago, is now covered in blue crayon. Maybe it will serve as a permanent reminder to check the kid's pockets before I start a load of laundry. Probably not.

4. I forgot to mention the "family turkey" that the school sent home for us to decorate as a family. It consisted of two pieces of paper that we had to glue together, and then fill in with whatever we felt like (we chose old bits of wrapping paper). Needless to say I did not force Cary to participate, and Lucy's participation was equal to crying and grabbing for the glue stick. Thanks school, for adding some great togetherness time to my week.

Off to a bad start, again.

1. I was exhausted from staying up too late and watching the Bills lose.

2. Then I was trying to empty the coffee from the grinder into the filter this morning. The filter tipped over spilling ground coffee all over the counter, the shelves of the lazy susan below, the freshly mopped floor, and my outfit.

3. Then I realized I had to make up a grocery list right then, because I couldn't go to the store tomorrow, like I had planned. (I forgot I have P.T.).

So to cheer myself up I bought another water bottle -- this one's for me.

P.S. The new Jens Lekman came out today and it's fantastic.
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Now playing: Jens Lekman - Kanske Ar Jag Kar I Dig

You know it's time to take a break from the iPod when

you see JOYDIVR on a vanity license plate, as I did this morning, and immediately think, "I guess someone's a big Joy Division fan."

But in the time it took me to pull up closer to peer in at the driver I realized the owner was probably a diver, not a fan of Ian Curtis, Bernard Sumner, Peter Hook, and Stephen Morris.

More Dumb Things

1. I devoted a great deal of time fulfilling the requirements of Henry's school supply list this year. I knew that his elementary school had a program where they buy the supplies for you, but details were sketchy, so I didn't sign up. Today as I was weeding through his Kindergarten papers, deciding what we would save, and what we could part with, I found the flier regarding the "School supplying school supplies program." All of the instructions, including a detailed list of what they would buy for me were there -- all I had to do was flip over the page. I hope they do it next year. I'm totally signing up. We went to four stores looking for plastic folders with three prongs in red, blue, yellow, green and purple.

2. On the way home from PT today the brake light and two other nasty little indicator lights went on. After consulting the manual which said something like, "get your car to the dealer immediately, and don't forget your check book, you fool!" we headed out to get the van checked out. $90 later, we learned that it was just a "random computer glitch." Oh well, I needed my oil changed anyway.

Tomorrow is another day. Another day where more things can go wrong!

New dumb things

1. I left the water running on the hose that runs from inside the garage. I rest the sprayer on top of a storage unit where I keep gardening gloves, tools, plant food etc. As I was rushing Henry off to soccer yesterday I noticed that area seemed wet. The hose had flooded the entire area. I made time to turn to hose off, and curse. But I haven't made time to clean up the gardening debris that's sitting in a huge puddle. Not too sure when I am going to get around to it either. But I completely forgot about it until today when I went to water my plants again. How long will it take to evaporate?

2. I am incapable of buying a week's worth of groceries, or keeping appropriate staples on hand, but that doesn't stop me from trying. I ran out to the Italian grocery for meatballs earlier in the day, but didn't discover that I didn't have any Spaghetti sauce (or the constituents to make it) until the water was boiling for the pasta and the meatballs were browning. Since Cary is still recovering from having a wisdom tooth removed (and was sleeping at the time) I had to take both kids with me back to the same grocery -- Henry was already in his pajamas -- and buy some sauce. But I was rewarded for my efforts because Lucy ate a meatball!

Bad Mama Files

A new blog featurette where I reveal a questionable parenting decision
(It's like the Rockford Files, but without the ex-cons and the Firebird...)

Last weekend I discovered a caterpillar clinging to my Helenium. I had visions of the entire plant being devoured by morning. So I decided that instead of disposing of the insect it would be fun to put it into a jar and watch it turn into a butterfly. Needless to say everything I know about this process comes from The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Henry and Lucy were excited by the prospect, so we found an old salsa jar, and some maple leaves. Cary said, "If you want it to turn into a Butterfly you need a stick." So we added a stick. I dutifully pounded some holes in the top with a nail and waited for the childhood memories to take hold.

After a couple of days we added some more leaves, and Henry and I agreed that the caterpillar looked bigger to us. It had definitely eaten some of the maple leaves. We managed to keep Lucy from shaking the jar like a snow globe. So far so good.

But by yesterday I noticed that its size had shrunk considerably. It had a dark sticky spot on its side. Preparation for the chrysalis? Nope. It needed water desperately. By the time I figured this out it lay at the bottom of the jar. I added some water, and man did the poor little shrinking caterpillar drink. When it climbed up back onto one of the maple leaves I held out a sliver of hope. Half an hour later it was shriveled on the floor of its jar, a dessicated hairy spiral.

I didn't know exactly how to handle it with the kids. Henry still hasn't asked to see it but we're having friends over for dinner so I felt compelled to dispose of the remains. Lucy asked to see it this morning and it turns out that she enjoyed the dead caterpillar just as much as the living one. I said to her, "Honey, the caterpillar isn't ever going to turn into a butterfly." "OK," she replied, and danced off to grab a toy pony.

So if I see another caterpillar, am I going to try it again? Probably. Maybe with some instructions this time. I really want to see a newly hatched butterfly.

Wrongest day in recent memory

1. We were due to arrive at Henry's classroom half an hour early to listen to him read from his journals and "book box" before taking them home. I forgot to set the alarm. We arrived on time but barely. Henry had very little interest in reading these books to me since none of them were ever very challenging for him. He did point out that his coloring has gotten much better since September. Lucy was extremely interested in sticking her face directly in front of mine while I tried to pay attention to Henry.

2. Unfortunately a few people in the room were leaving with gifts. Henry became obsessed with the location of his gift. He concluded that he had to read his entire book box to receive the gift. Declared he didn't want the gift. I still don't know what the story was, but there was no gift. The teacher, in her ever unhelpful way told him only, "I don't have a gift for you, Henry." At that point he started to cry inconsolably, just as everyone was starting to leave, of course. And Lucy continued to stick her face in mine, "What's wrong Henry, Mommy?" Then I noticed Henry's friend B was crying too. I did my best to calm Henry down rather unsuccessfully. When I left both boys were still crying, B silently, Henry rather loudly, and I heard the teacher mutter aloud, "Well, we could get started now if everyone would stop crying." She is retiring in three days to teach pre-school. I wish her all the best.

3. If that wasn't bad enough we got the package we had sent to the gifted programming specialist back with the glibbest, most unhelpful note. We wrote a letter asking if Henry could be considered for language arts programming for next year because he is reading second grade books with no help and third grade books with a little help at home, while in school it is all monosyllabic nonsense. I do not harbor any illusion that my son is a genius, but his teacher this year has done nothing to nurture him. The gifted programming specialist wrote back that there is nothing she can do because he is at grade level in his class room. Christ on crack! That's why we wrote the note in the first place. I am so tired of this school.

4. And then, I went to pick up our grill. A huge thunderstorm broke out. Did I mention that it hasn't rained more than a drop in months? I had to back the minivan up 40 feet and wait while three very helpful guys placed the grill (which is HUGE) inside. The thing barely fit. At one point they were giving the kids large pieces of metal to hold. Then Henry had to get out twice so we could move up his seat. He was standing on his book box (of course I hadn't taken it out of the car yet) asking me if I could get his umbrella. Both of us got soaking wet.

5. And now I have to rethink tonight's dinner: hot dogs and hamburgers.

Happy Birthday, Cary!

Now you're as old as I am. I hope you like your presents because you are getting really hard to buy for.

1. Conversation between Henry and me this morning:

H: How old is daddy?
E: 36
H: But you're older, right?
E's brain: thanks, kid
E: No, now daddy and I are the same age.
H: (Looking serious) Are you going to die soon?
E: No, honey, I'm perfectly fine. You don't have anything to worry about.
E's brain: Jesus Christ!
H: Because people don't die until they are in their 90s, right?
E: That's right, honey.
H: Or if they are really old and sick, right?
E: That's right. 36 is still really young.
E's brain: Isn't it? Who told this kid about death? It wasn't me!
H: That's right, Mom.

2. I forgot to put Henry's half completed math homework in his back pack so I had to drive it over to the school. I always feel like the know me there. I hope I'm not the only mom that does stuff like what feels like at least twice a month.

3. I got called for jury duty again, six months after being called and excused. They called me once under my legal name and once under what would be my married name, if that person existed. This is what happens when you don't take your husband's name. I'm looking at you LHM and Auntlyh. Apparently it might continue to happen on into the future, so the nice person on the other end of the line advised me to photocopy the summons and make a note of how we handled it "just in case."

4. I had some musical stuff to say. Jonah quit the band The Blow, so now it's just the girl, whose name I am too lazy to look up. I'm pretty sure that will make their records suck from now on, but maybe I will be pleasantly surprised. But the girl, whatever her name is, Khaela, will certainly be wondering where her friends are now, won't she. (Except no one gets the reference because you all don't really get into those mp3s. Thassok. Maybe mp3s don't fit the DC-Vienna-Bflo axis deomographic.) Also, Cary and I are going to see Voxtrot on Sunday night. Again, they are a band. I won't bother posting a track. Too bad the album is boring. I loved the EPs. It got trashed by Pitchfork too, so you can be there were some tears in the practice room over that one. Then we are going to Mary Timony on Tuesday. Her CD was also very mediocre, but I am so excited to see her live. I will report back. I know all of you will be dying for the details.

As Lucy grows increasingly responsible, I require additional assitance for the simplest tasks

1. On the way to the grocery store today I totally panicked because I couldn't find my keys. I have been pretty spacey because of the migraine drugs they have had me on since the infusion (today was the last day for that, thank God), so I had NO idea where my keys were. I hadn't driven in nearly 24 hours and yesterday I didn't have any pockets, so I there were no obvious places to check. Lucy followed me around with her cow flashlight, that moos, saying, "I see things, Mommy." I took deep breaths and tried to relax because I am also afraid of having another headache. After fifteen minutes of fruitless searching it turned out that the keys were in the front pocket of my hoodie where I must have put them just minutes before they went "missing." Typical.

2. It was a big day for Lucy at the grocery store because it was her first time being stashed, er, allowed in the playroom. She was very excited. She didn't want to go potty here. "I use Wegmans toilet," she said brightly. So I dropped her off after a quick bathroom break, and as I expected, she never looked back. She had a great time. We will have to see if I forgot fewer items on my list than usual without her distracting me. So far, so good. My little girl is definitely growing up. She rarely calls herself "Fluflee" anymore, and is fascinated by her own baby pictures. On the down side, she is rarely napping, which is something that will be hard for me to surrender. She is in her crib as I type, sing-screaming altered lyrics to "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star."