There's gotta be a pony in here somewhere...

1. Yesterday started off as Henry burst into tears because I removed the "top crust" of his toast, in addition to all other sides. He tried to convince me to make the toast again, but because the bus was coming in precisely 4 minutes he begrudgingly agreed to eat it.

2. Lucy cried for 40 minutes in the afternoon because Henry was using the computer. When I tried to play Chutes and Ladders with her she continued to move her pieces all over the board making free use of the chutes or ladders when it wasn't her turn. When I tried to play Candyland with her she would only move to spaces that were green because she had chosen a green game piece.

3. The dude at the vintage furniture store blew me off for the third time. We bought a Heywood Wakefield Buffet from him on October 13th and he still hasn't delivered it. No wonder his delivery fee is so cheap.

4. After dinner Lucy said her stomach hurt. She had diarrhea.

5. As a result of Lucy being sick were unable to bring ourselves to eat a second slice of the amazing apple caramel pie that he bought on Sunday from Butterwood.

6. And Lucy missed her Halloween party at pre-school today, plus finally a chance to go to her friend Macy's house.


7. The pony in the pile of manure, I mean, our new buffet, was delivered this morning. Here is a picture. Oh, and Henry got his toast with the top crust, so maybe we've turned our luck around.

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Now playing: The Helio Sequence - Just Mary Jane (Calypso)

Loo loo loo I've got some apples, loo loo loo you've got some too...

So I thought my day was off to a good start because Henry didn't fight me when it was time to wake up in the morning. It turns out it was just because he has wet his bed.

Which got me to thinking, if Henry was a South Park character he would definitely be Butters. I say this because his father has yet to teach him to pee standing up without pulling his pants down completely. In first grade this is not an issue because the children have their own bathroom but come next year I don't want my kid standing there at the urinal with his pants around his ankles. Apparently I am the only person in the house that thinks this is of any importance. I suppose I could teach him myself, but is this really necessary when there is already a grown man living here with way more experience in such matters than I will ever have?

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Now playing: Morrissey - I Just Want To See The Boy Happy

Someone please cheer me up.

I haven't posted because nothing suitably wrong has happened of late, and when I start to consider an anecdote about letting the cat out by mistake, or ordering Henry infant shoes online thinking they were youth size 2 I think about Auntlyh's dear departed dog, Loyd or the fires in San Diego and I don't have much to say.

Anne and I both independently checked in on CJD, our friend in San Diego, and were glad to learn she is fine.

In an effort to cheer myself I am going to try to remember the alternate lyrics to a Kappa song that LHM was mostly, if not fully, responsible for writing for CJD. CJD was a confirmed teatotaller, and didn't like the established version, so we used to sing this one to her in the bar. I think it went a little like this:

She drinks water, apple juice and soda pop
She jogs and jogs and never stops
She's always on the phone a lot
When she does it (ooh) she always has to stop.

We are the ********* girls

(missing a couple lines here) -- anyone remember them?
She never gets the best of them
She likes big, tall Christian men

We are the ********* girls

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Now playing: Nails - 88 Lines About 44 Women

Burnin' Down the House

1. Earlier last week Lucy came down with a fever. Her illness, while not serious, was timed so that Cary felt obligated to stay home from the Of Montreal concert the next night. It was really nice of him to offer to let me go, but since my mom was joining us too I think it was the most obvious decision.

2. I did enjoy the concert, though they failed to play a number of my favorite tracks including Lucy's favorite* and "Cato as a Pun."

3. Then on Saturday after attending both a soccer game and a birthday party Henry came down with the same illness. The only real symptom is a fever of at least 102 and red-rimmed eyes. Lucy was better in 24 hours, but when Henry woke up this morning he still had his fever. So he is home from school for what I hope will only be one day. At the moment they are both cheering in front of a new episode of Go Diego Go, and I am feeling optimistic.

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*For Lucy --Now playing: Of Montreal - The Past is a Grotesque Animal
(aka "The Story Song")

Front page procrastination

I was just going to check out my suspicion that the Scotland Yard Gospel Choir sounds a bit like the Housemartins when I found this on the NYT homepage. It was so enjoyable that I had to post it immediately, and I think everyone (but DQ in particular) should read it.
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Now playing: The Scotland Yard Gospel Choir - This World Has No Place For Me

Off to a bad start, again.

1. I was exhausted from staying up too late and watching the Bills lose.

2. Then I was trying to empty the coffee from the grinder into the filter this morning. The filter tipped over spilling ground coffee all over the counter, the shelves of the lazy susan below, the freshly mopped floor, and my outfit.

3. Then I realized I had to make up a grocery list right then, because I couldn't go to the store tomorrow, like I had planned. (I forgot I have P.T.).

So to cheer myself up I bought another water bottle -- this one's for me.

P.S. The new Jens Lekman came out today and it's fantastic.
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Now playing: Jens Lekman - Kanske Ar Jag Kar I Dig

Not a fan of the three day weekend

I remember what three day weekends used to mean: Sunday night was another night to go out. If I decided to work on Monday I got time and half and an extra paid day off.

Now three day weekends just create an additional day when I attempt to entertain my kids without my husband around, there is no US Mail delivery, and Nickelodeon may preempt its normal programming for a Teennick marathon.

Plus I had a migraine today, so I had to skip the gym. And it was about 85 freaking degrees, again.

On the bright side, Henry had a friend over this morning, and he finally found someone besides his sister who is willing to jump around like crazy in his bedroom listening to Devo.

On the brighter side: another Trouser Press entry for Peter Bjorn and John.

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Now playing: Devo - Jocko Homo

Sunday Drive Gone Wrong

1. Cary suggested we go pick up some apple cider at the Water Mill today. He was sure that he had read in the Amherst Bee that it was open. When we arrived it was closed. We picked up a spare copy of the Bee and confirmed that the hours were yesterday during the Farmer's Market.

2. We decided to stop by Clayton's toys to kill a little time and then drive to Ziggy's for lunch. No less than five minutes after we arrived Lucy peed all over herself.

3. So I gingerly escorted the poor child to the car, and we drove straight home where she refused a bath, so I was forced to give her a shower and attempt not to get too wet myself.

I've got a new review up on Venuszine, finally.

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Now playing: PJ Harvey - White Chalk

Let me see your big kid underwear

1. My day began with Lucy demanding to see my underwear, so she could make sure that hers matched mine. This is common practice in our house, and when we are unable to coordinate tears ensue. Today was one of those days.

2. Then I dropped her off at pre-school and rushed home to try and crank out a Venus review for which I have no promo copy.

3. When I picked up Lucy we dashed off to Macy's so I could buy some make-up from Clinique, something I rarely do, because they were having one of their give-aways. I got home and found they sold me the wrong stuff, so now I have to return it. I just ordered the stuff I wanted on eBay anyway and figured screw the free stuff, I never use it. Lucy cried the entire time we were in Macy's because she knows a little girl named Macy and she could not understand why we were not at Macy's house.

4. I tried to lure Lucy home by telling her I had a surprise for her. When I showed her the copy of Cookie's Week that I ordered from her book club at school she burst into tears and said, "I wanted toys."

5. In spite of being so tired she could barely eat her lunch she still refused to nap. As soon as I struggled to get her into bed she sat up and screamed for me to release her to downstairs saying her room was "too hot" and she "missed her Henry."

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Now playing: PJ Harvey - The Devil

Distasteful Craigslist Experience

Anyone else have have a really bad time with something on Craigslist?

Here's what just happened to me:

Friday I saw a dining room set in Rochester that I loved. But it had a hutch that Cary said we didn't need, and when he checked in with the guy to see if he would split the set up the guy said no.
Then last night the set was back up, the guy was Mr. Flexible because he didn't realize that the table top was veneer until a buyer told him so. He agreed over the phone to sell us the set, (we were going to take the hutch and donate it -- that was Cary's idea) but since it was 80 miles away we couldn't get it until Saturday. He offered to take less money. So Cary offered him $50 less.

He just wrote me to tell me that he got a full price offer from the first people so he decided to sell it to them and we were out of luck. He noted that we might have changed our minds on Saturday, so oh well.

But here's the thing -- I really wanted this stupid furniture. I felt so good last night, like something was going right, and now, well, I'm left feeling empty, with nothing but some good blog post material.

Now I am left with my same crappy table with the ripped chair, and no idea when I will be able to replace it, plus I am more wary than ever of finding something through Craigslist which is the only way we can really justify the expense.

Update: I am not alone, by all means check out the link LHM left in the comment area.

Why I Love Garden Design Magazine

My new issue of Garden Design magazine just arrived with an article detailing how to rip out your lawn, and replace it with non-grass alternatives.

There are a variety of reasons that we will probably never free ourselves from the cycle of mowing, weeding, and fertilizing as much as I would love to, but reading the article reminded me that my distaste for my neighbor's pursuit of the perfect lawn is not completely misplaced.

Much like the last issue that was full of exotic Salvias, there is always something I'm compelled to read about, or dream about. They ran an article on Natural Swimming Pools, the only kind I would ever consider and hence we will never have a pool.

Here are some photos from my garden that I never got around to posting:

From left to right: Kniphofia, Canna, Crocosmia Lucifer

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Now playing: PJ Harvey - Grow Grow Grow

Picture Day

1. It was Henry's wish to have his school picture taken in a white button-down shirt and tie. When he mentioned this to me his wardrobe contained neither. But since I found the request so funny, and think it has such potential to embarrass him in the future, I purchased a tie from Lands End and a shirt from Old Navy.

2. I was rethinking my plan this morning when we tried to get him into his get up. He didn't want to tuck the shirt in. The shirt collar was not made for a tie. He ate breakfast in his bathrobe to keep his clothes clean and ended up covered in fleecy lint.

3. He returned from school with the tie balled up inside his backpack, shirt untucked, but he assured me that his pictures turned out "awesome."

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Now playing: The Hollies - Bus Stop

Proof that I am only a recovering Type A personality

Two days ago we got a note home from Henry's teacher requesting that all children drink water instead of juice during snack time. Witness my shame spiral:

1. The easiest thing to do would be to purchase small sized bottled water and send it instead of juice. But of course I could not do this.

2. Why not? Because he will take like two sips and waste the rest. Plus I know the bottles won't get recycled at school. I am well aware that the juice boxes weren't getting recycled either but they can't be recycled. The thought of sending in a bottle full of water that would go in the trash made me crazy.

3. I assembled all of the water bottles in our house that could be sent into school with Henry, filled them and proceeded to test them for leaks. None of them passed to my satisfaction. I don't want water getting all over his homework. I can't send the bottle in empty because expecting him to fill it at school would be messier than a juicebox.

4. Yesterday I sent Henry into school with a note saying, "Please let Henry drink from the drinking fountain because he doesn't drink much water. Please let me know if he is too disruptive." You can only imagine what giving Henry carte blanche for the water fountain could mean for the classroom.

5. Last night the teacher called me and said that I could send in flavored water, as long as it isn't sticky. While I know he likes Fruit20 because my mom buys it, I don't want him having Nutrasweet everyday either. Plus the bottles are 11 oz -- way too much for him to drink. (I checked today at the store).

6. So I purchased a new water bottle, the fourth I've bought, that doesn't have a pop-up spout on it, that way Henry can drink from it without making love to the spout (anyone with small children will know what I mean here). This sucker seals completely. It was freaking $13.99, which if it means I don't have to buy juice or water, is still cheap, but my god, that's a lot for a water bottle. I got the blue one in the picture.

Anyone still reading? I think I need to go have a lie down.

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Now playing: Peter Bjorn And John - Firing Blanks (Bonus Track)

New Slang

Last night Henry was ready for soccer practice early and wanted to wait for Cary in the van. When I suggested he might be too hot in the car he said, "No worries Mom. This bad boy is always ready to go."

I don't think he was being sarcastic either.

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Now playing: Peter Bjorn and John - Young Folks (beyond the wizard's sleeve re-animation)

Who knew violin could actually be enjoyable?

Last night Cary, my mom, and I headed to the venue formerly known as The Church, now, (somewhat comically to me) known as Babeville, to see Andrew Bird. Wow.

He played solo, creating the rhythm section himself by looping violin lines and whistling, then adding guitar and vocals to riff on the album version of his songs. He ran the sounds through two old Victrola-type speakers, one of which spun very fast on command. The effect made it sound like we were in a room full of stringed-instruments. After the second song, when Andrew was saying a brief hello and remarking on the unbelievable acoustics in, er Babeville, a guy yelled out, "This is already the best show I've ever been to." It will be tough to prove him wrong.

PS The picture was taken by a roving photographer at the show. The curious among you can find another of mom and me here.

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Now playing: Andrew Bird - Fake Palindromes

Cure for the Common Cold

Yesterday I pulled myself out of bed to go see Metric. The band played probably 70% new material, all of which was great. Although the show was at the Town Ballroom, and my mom and I got there too late to get one of the six seats in the place, we had a great view of the stage.

I could see the enthusiastic twentysomething negotiating with the security guy to give her a set list. I spotted two other people who pulled the same trick as me, and bought a dress from the H&M girl's department.

Crystal Castles opened. Whatever hipness they may possess was lost on me. Alice, the near anorexic, did nothing but dance and shine blinking lights on the audience. And the other dude's best trick was running his laptop in the near darkness.

But back to Metric. Emily has the market cornered on postpunk t-shirt dressing. She was sporting a Stranglers t-shirt, with shorts and boots when we saw her on Letterman. Last night she was in a Joy Division t-shirt (Unknown Pleasures, but with multi-colored Mountains!) that fit her like a dress. Emily, who is your tailor?

They said they don't even know when the new record is coming out. What a tease!

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Now playing: Metric - Parkdale

Best thing yet I've seen on IvyGate

Here's a tidbit: "For the past week, tons of freshman have been aimlessly wandering Sterling library in search of a secret room where supposedly professors would go to hide from their students..." Click on the link for the whole delightful story.
http://www.ivygateblog.com/blog/2007/09/oh_yale.html

Gotta get me a gun

A glue gun that is! (For the Tootsie Roll Pop Spiders I have been assigned to make for the Halloween Party) You may all laugh now.

Despite negative educational experiences by pals LHM, Mommy at Work, and Anne, I've been doused with some abededarian holy water.

I think I lucked out in the room parent department. My co-room parent is a former elementary school teacher whose home is stocked with supplies from her old classroom, and she showed up with a binder full of ideas. She was as easy-going as a woman toting a binder full of ideas could have been.

Henry's current classroom teacher is as enthusiastic as last year's teacher was curt and dismissive. She has sent home extra books on music and science to give Henry additional stimulation, one of which she seems to have purchased solely on his account.

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Now playing: Jens Lekman - A Postcard To Nina

When did I stop feeling like Lisa and start feeling more like Marge?

I've been trying to Simpsonize myself for weeks ever since I saw Takka Takka's results on Brooklyn Vegan. What a hassle. But after JSE's results I decided to give it another go.

What I really wanted to do was make this my picture for my blog since when I leave comments the old picture makes it appear as if I have no eyes or teeth. Kind of amusing, but kind of not. Do any tech savvy folks know how I could make this happen? Blogger refused to recognize the .jpg and so did my computer.

As an aside, while I was working on this, Lucy drew all over the back of Henry's neck with a green marker.

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Now playing: Peter Bjorn and John - Sitar Folks

That's Educational!

1. Lucy loves pre-school. So far I love everything about it too, except the parking situation. I think I may need to re-learn how to parallel park before the year is out. This concerns me greatly.

2. While I am still afraid of the PTA, I agreed to be the one of two room parents for Henry's class today. They were short one volunteer and asked me because I was the only person to check the box that said, "I don't have enough time to be a room parent but I still want to volunteer in the classroom." Lesson learned. But I should not be short of blog material for the rest of the school year. I wish I had LHM's inherent craftiness because I think I will be planning parties for first graders. I am gratefully soliciting suggestions for the Halloween party should the mood strike anyone.

3. Because of a four-day long migraine (which may be over, finally) and some goings on with a friend I feel overwhelmed and behind schedule on everything in my life.

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Now playing: Shout Out Louds - South America