Overheard during the Superbowl

Lucy: "All of us are rooting for Green Bay except Inga. She's rooting for kitty team injuries. She's the only one on the team."

Lucy to Henry: "Dude, don't you know Doritos are seriously bad for you, and for fish."

Lucy: "I want to see the Darth Vader commercial."

I guess we now know that the Superbowl may be the only thing that can drive me upstairs to blog again.

What Went Wrong Index

Like Harper's, only on a smaller scale and with more bodily fluids.

This week:
Number of school days Lucy missed: 3
Number of school days Henry missed: 0
Number of apology letters Henry wrote: 5
Number of times I cried in public: 3
Number of acquaintances offering tissues: 2
Approximate number of times Sufi urinated outside litter box today: 4
Number of cans of salmon Sufi consumed: less than one
Number of cans of cat food Sufi consumed: zero
Tickets ordered for Lucy's Spring Ballet Performance: 7
Cost of tickets: $97.00
Bags of mulch purchased: 20
Bags of mulch used: 0
Cost of mulch: $97.00
Number of globe allium blooming in garden: 12

It's not that things have stopped going wrong...

Why just last week I had pink eye. Then Henry threw up at school three times in four days at school, so he and I got to spend some quality time together when he was recuperating.

Why don't I blog any more?

I have been reading more books and trying to stay off of the computer. Jasper Fforde, Alan Bradley, and Greg Mortenson have been keeping me busy.

Sharing my kids issues isn't quite as cute now that they are a little older and Henry can actually read. I feel more like I might be violating their privacy.

Plus I am absolutely no closer to knowing what I want to be when I grow up. But I'm happy with my jobby, and don't have much motivation to look for something more substantial.

I have yet to have one single day where I feel bored while the kids are at school. Usually I am busy down til 2:29 when I gasp, grab my coat, and rush out to meet the bus.

Just this week alone

2010 is shaping up to be a bang up year so far.

Here is what has already gone wrong:

1. I have learned that spending more than one or two days in the house with my entire immediate family makes me extremely cranky. It's as if the other three family members hog all of the oxygen in the house causing my brain to fuzz over like it has been put in long term storage. I do things like order a 2009 engagement calendar, wait for it to arrive, and wonder why none of the dates match up to all of the reminder cards I've been squirreling away for the last six months.

2. On Monday, the day that everything was supposed to return to normal, I was dressed for the gym, minding my own business, when the car would not start. Long story short, 6 hours, $200 odd dollars and no work out later, the car was working again. But I had to put off enjoying life in the quiet house again until Tuesday, and I was not pleased.

3. On Thursday (actually very, very early in the morning on Friday) Lucy puked all over her carpet, her PJs, her bed, and her hair. I spent about an hour stripping sheets, changing her clothes, inflating the air mattress (in the dark -- didn't want to wake Cary) so she could sleep in our room. Lucy's bedroom is tiny and nearly every walkable bit of floorspace was now off limits. It still is. I've applied three treatments of Nature's Miracle to the carpet, and the stench is finally beginning to wear off. Maybe tonight she can sleep in her own bed again.

4. When Lucy was home on Friday I got a call from the school saying Henry was in the nurse's office. He'd been sledding and was having trouble breathing, so Lucy and I had to go into school with his inhaler and dispense albuterol poste haste. Needless to say I am not in possession of a spare inhaler and doctor's note, so that doesn't happen again.

Here's to hoping that no one else in the house gets sick! I'm going to go lie down now.

I should have seen this coming...

What Went Wrong?

It was Henry who deleted my episodes of Cosmos. So much for having my son on the same cosmic page.

The Persistence of Memory

I've been working my way through Cosmos, or I was until I lost five of the episodes 14 episodes I'd saved on the TiVo. If you're wondering how I ended up watching a twenty-nine year old science show while I eat my lunch, it's because of Henry.

Earlier in the fall Henry was on a science kick, and he requested that we record some DragonflyTV, and Daily Planet, and Dinosaur shows for him. Plus he watched all of the Nova Science Now episodes that Cary and I had neglected to sit through (Neil DeGrasse Tyson, you are no Carl Sagan). Anyway, I saw Cosmos was listed and jumped at the chance to get him to watch what had been one of my favorite science shows when I was a kid.

Fast forward a couple of months. His interest in science shows has been replaced by animal shows. He watched America's Cutest Dog yesterday twice when he was home sick, and showed particular affection for the dog that could say "hamburger." I started watching the episodes when I was recovering from that nasty flu back in October.

And, for me, watching Cosmos is like going to church. Sagan is as soothing and slightly nerdy as the best Protestant minister. Listening to him speak reminds me of how interconnected and fragile life is. Other than Sagan's omnipresent concern with nuclear war and how dated the cars look the show holds up remarkably well.

The Persistence of Memory isn't just a Dali painting, it's also the title of one of the episodes. In it Sagan explores whales as if they were alien creatures, reminding us that the largest are bigger than the dinosaurs. While I have no memory of ever watching the episode before as a kid, watching it floods me with so many other memories that I too feel like a passenger in Sagan's ship.

More than remembering much of the content of the show from watching it three decades ago, I remember how awed I felt watching the show. He discussed how life emerged from the oceans, and how the universe was expanding *right this very minute* and it was all a little much to hold in my eight year old head. It still is. But now I can also add layers of the science that I did go on to learn in school. When he covers evolution in about 12 minutes, it's pleasurable for my brain to retrace those steps. Instead of feeling unspeakably sad that Carl Sagan is gone, I feel only gratitude that I live in a world where the gadgets that I own actually deliver something this wonderful to my doorstep, even if it's only once every couple of decades.

And then I can't help wondering if Henry will ever discover Cosmos on his own, when he's ready, and of course I can't stop myself from hoping he too will have the same wonderful experience.

First phone call of the year

It's good to know my kids still need me. Or at least one of them does. On the seventh day of school my cell phone rang. It was the school nurse telling me that Henry had been in her office because "he didn't think he could make it through the day without his nose spray." I went home, stuffed some kleenex in my pocket and headed over to his school.

When I arrived I noticed Lucy's class was standing in the front hallway, and I got a very warm greeting of "Mama!" from her. Then the fire drill went off. I waited with Lucy's class during the fire drill, listening to one girl mumble "I want to go home. Don't you see that I want to go home." When Lucy stumbled into her by mistake she snapped, "What are you doing?" I asked Lucy about the girl later that day, she said, "Oh, that's A. We said, 'hi, what's your name? Now we're friends."

I gave Lucy a quick good bye and headed off to find Henry, who seemed only mildly congested. We stood in the hall while I shot salty water up his nose. The school nurse and I decided that we can leave a bottle in her office should such an emergency arise again.

It's not exactly the way I'd hoped to meet Henry's teacher for the first time, but she seemed to take everything in stride, and mostly seemed concerned that he got what he needed. Maybe we'll have another good year. My fingers are crossed.

Today's career direction: Maybe I'll become a pilates or yoga instructor since I seem to have found time for exercise and not much else.

Miles to go

Today was the first day that I walked back into the house and it didn't immediately feel terribly empty and far too quiet.

Both kids like school. Lucy is full of "other kids'" stories of feeling sad and getting in trouble. I expect that their enthusiasm will wane as the novelty wears off and the homework begins to pile on, but it has been very gratifying to be tackled by two smiling children each day as they exit the bus.

My plan to clear my head and think big thoughts has hit an initial snag: I still don't have much free time! After I exercise, run errands, and feed myself I'm left with no more than a total of an hour and a half until the bus arrives. While that is more than enough time to write record reviews or read a book, it's hardly enough time to pursue meaningful part time work. Obviously if I did that, some other things would have to change as well.

I'm introducing a regular feature to WWW (tiny drumroll...)

Today's career direction: working seems like a pipe dream, but feeling a slight pull to return to get an Ph.D. in English to explore relationship between poetic structure and depression.

It's part horoscope, part weather forecast and 100% useless.

Time out of mind

So tomorrow Lucy starts Kindergarten and while I'm hoping it will be a fresh start for me I know it's unrealistic to think that six free hours a day will turn me back into the bright-eyed, fast-thinking person I once was. Is it too much to hope that I'll stop getting stupider with each passing year?

Some things will definitely change, like having to type with the TV on. As I type this Lucy is watching some atrocious Nick Jr. show with young adults doing hip-hop in animal costumes; it's a little distracting. I do hope that having a break from direct childcare will free my mind to think about other things, such as what kind of work I might enjoy, or whether six hours a day, 10 months a year is even a realistic framework to pursue meaningful work.

I feel poised for change in a few other ways too. Venus is going on an indefinite hiatus (sigh), so I'll be spending less time writing and interviewing in the near future. Plus I've recently connected/re-connected with some friends (thanks, Facebook) which makes my social and musical life in Buffalo feel more complete. I suspect the next six years here will look quite different than the first six, and I'm happy about that.

I doubt Lucy will have the difficulties with school that Henry has had. She makes friends easily and already knows more kids than he did at the end of first grade. I also know that we won't be on auto-pilot. While Henry took easily to academics, I will be surprised if this is true for Lucy as well. I think she will be stunned by the amount of work her teacher expects her to do.

She still needs me now, so completely. She still cheers when I tell her that I'm going to get her dressed (which means I'll stand there and supervise for the sake of expediency). At the moment she's whining for me to join her saying, "I just want you." She just wants me to sit on the couch and watch crappy kids TV and hold her hand. And I'd be lying if I said I won't miss it that. But I'd be lying if I didn't also admit that it needs to end.

Catch a tiger by the toe

Henry and Lucy started camp today, which means I might have a precious few hours to myself this summer! I don't think I've seen Lucy in such a happy mood since school ended.

She's also very excited about our new composter (It's not pretty, but if it cuts down on my garbage I'll be pleased). If she keeps her enthusiasm up it will certainly help me stay excited.

Plus she surprised me by reciting an adorably mangled version of "Eenee Meenee Miney Mo" tonight.

New review at Donnybrook: White Rabbits It's Frightening

So much wrong, so little time

So Lucy has been done with school since mid-May. I realize that these last few weeks represent the last time that she and I will have alone before her schedule is exactly like Henry's. Which only makes it more poignant that she is driving me crazy!!! Thank God camp starts next week. I need a break. Also it's 8:45 am and she's still asleep. Sweet, sweet relief!

The unexpected down side of getting the Dyson was that Lucy is now obsessed with vacuuming. She wants to spend hours with her toy shop vac, a noisy contraption that doesn't actually pick up anything. When she's not doing that she likes to report to me that "the house is really dirty" or "the garage really needs to be cleaned." When I try to take the vacuum away from her,so I can hear myself think, horizontal tears ensue.

Now it's time for a little game called What's Causing my Migraine:

1. I've not been exercising because hauling both kids to the gym playroom at their current age is too unwieldy. As a result I'm really cranky, all the time.

2. Or it could be that Lucy caused such a scene in the hair dressers on Tuesday that one of the stylists (not mine) gave her a lollipop to shut her up. Nice, right? Then she added to me, "I'm trying to concentrate here (+eyeroll)." Not so nice. My lovely hairdresser actually called the next day to apologize for her coworker, which was not necessary, but made me me feel a little better.

3. Or could it be that we're preparing to host a small section of Cary's family for dinner tonight and I need to shop, clean, and cook with two bored kids at my feet.

Almost forgot:

Future of the Left review up at Donnybrook
Gossip review up at Venus

Hello, is this thing on?

This blog has been horribly neglected lately. Mainly this is because I'm avoiding the computer because it hurts my back, so I don't end up deciding to post.

But yesterday had some WWW moments. Henry performed in his 2nd grade play as Uncle Henry in a loose adaptation of the Wizard of Oz. He also had his unofficial violin debut, since Uncle Henry played a version of "Old Joe Clark."

But that's not what went wrong. It's more about how we got to that point.
1. Henry had hassled a neighbor on the bus because they both wanted to sit with the same kid. Then he ran away and burst into tears when I tried to discuss it with him.
2. Lucy emerged from the bathroom with a clump of poo stuck to the back of her skirt. I discovered this just as she was about to climb up in my lap. So, we both needed to bathe before we could go to the play.
3. Right before we were supposed to leave I dropped a recycling bin on my toe. It was still bleeding throughout the performance.

But while there is a certain amount of comic ridiculousness in those events, mostly I will remember how excited Henry was to be in the play. I'm stunned by the amount of work the teachers put in to get 100 plus second graders to pull it off.




And I've got three new reviews to share on Donnybrook:
Miss Kittin and the Hacker Two: http://godonnybrook.com/home/?p=3089
John Vanderslice Romanian Names: http://godonnybrook.com/home/?p=3059
Black Moth Super Rainbow Eating Us: http://godonnybrook.com/home/?p=3116

Plus my interview with Annie Clark (St. Vincent) is available in the Summer issue of Venuszine. On sale now, yo.

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Now playing: Deerhunter - Vox Celeste

Not much to report

I realized that my kids are old enough now that stuff is not going wrong at every turn. Sure, I'm still doing some things I'd prefer not to for them, such as cleaning dried blood off the carpet when one of them has a nosebleed (which has been about every night of late), but it seems as if we no longer create an entertaining barrage of foibles and missteps. But that's good, right? Right?

I've been busy getting the garden ready for summer, and have been spending less time on the computer. As fascinating as this type of material is for you all, dear readers, I've not been too motivated to share anything.

Thought I am almost done with the baby blanket that sent me to Physical Therapy. Maybe I'll even post a picture or two.

I've got a couple things up on Donnybrook: Jarvis Cocker's Further Complications and Akron/Family's Set 'Em Wild Set 'Em Free.

I traded my plot of land for a plane to anywhere

Henry made it to sleep tonight without choking on his own mucus. I'm sure that's success by any estimation, but I still feel really low.

I tried to work through the trough by actually working. I edged the flower beds and power washed the deck. I procured a dessert for the dinner that Henry and I had to miss. While Lucy and Cary were at our friend's house for dinner Henry ate Lipton chicken noodle soup and I had a Lean Cuisine.

Hope things look up next week.

No body, no blood, no machine

I'm supposed to be at the Thermals show right now. Instead I just finished cleaning up a vomit-splattered sink. Henry's allergies are so bad that he is running a fever and puking from the post nasal drip. Or he's just sick.

Even though I thought Now We Can See was kind of a snooze, I'm still a huge fan of The Body, The Blood, The Machine. Plus they were the first entry I wrote for Trouser Press. I figured they'd be pretty great live, but not only could I not leave Henry here with a sitter, I can't imagine I'd enjoy a show if I knew my little boy was miserable at home without me.

Here's a video from my favorite song by the Thermals, "Returning to the Fold:"
How cute is Hutch in his little rugby? Too cute!

Welcome to my world

Cautiously optimistic

So we're on spring break. So far we don't have any big plans, but I will say that the first two days have not been completely dominated by the children's misbehavior and hijinx. We were desperately ready for Cary to come home by dinner today, but there were moments yesterday where Henry and Lucy played together with an uneasy peace. Henry organized an impromptu limbo contest, during which Lucy fell to her knees in the mud. But nobody called me! I continued to prepare the flower beds for new growth -- without interruption.

And I've got another Donnybrook review -- Winter Gloves about a girl.

I'm also completely obsessed with Emily Wells. Check it. And Lucy thinks you should check out Fantasies, the new Metric album featuring "her Emily." It's available as a digital download right now.

There are so many Emilys now, I'm not sure what to do!

I can't see the future but I know it's got big plans for me.

Got to interview another musician yesterday -- very exciting! But it looks like the write up will have to wait.

I'm listening to the sounds of Lucy and a friend throwing a succession of birthday parties for Lucy's stuffed animals. There is much negotiation of what age each animal will turn ("9" "No, how about 10.") and exclamations that the pretend gifts are "just what I always wanted." Plus the stuffed animals keep needing to go potty.

Now they are off to play the honeybee hop.

I have a million things that I should be doing, but I can't really reconcile the check book while keeping half an eye on the children.

My latest Donnybrook review: The 1990s

What not to lose. What not to buy.

1. I recently loss my clip sunglasses and now I can't find my health insurance card. The worst part about both is that I suspect the clips are in the car and the card is in the house, and yet I am no closer to finding either.

2. Lucy has spent the last two days playing with her birthday presents. This sounds good, right? But that means I have spent two days freeing miniature my little ponies from the stranglehold of twist ties and littlest pet shop pets from invisible rubber bands.

But the worst, by far was a package of Crayola ReColoritz. They are black glossy pictures of Disney princesses that you color with greasy crayons. It sounds OK , but they are impossible to clean. Lucy smeared greasy crayon all over her new pink dress yesterday. Today she left a trail of yellow on her work table and the kitchen counter. The crayons break off in sticky little chunks that adhere to pretty much anything. I don't blame the gift giver; I thought this sounded fine when she opened it.

She also got some Pixos which are labeled 4+. There was no part of the project she could do herself, so I spent a good chunk of the afternoon fighting with them. She was thrilled to get them, though after the Aquadots scandal I would never buy them for her myself. They are a huge pain. The two things we made were difficult to assemble and did not stick together. Plus we were pretty careful, but they are so easy to spill.

Happy Birthday, Lucy

We celebrated Lucy's 5th birthday today. It isn't her actual birthday, but close enough.

I am so tired that I can barely type. We invited all of the girls in her pre-school class (though a few couldn't make it), the usual family friends, and my parents.

We painted faces and made magnets with each girls photo. Lucy's Honeybee Hop was a huge hit. Did I mention how exhausted I am?

Nothing really went wrong, though it was way more work than Henry's Chuck E. Cheese party.

Now that my youngest is five, I must face the inevitable: soon my children will roll their eyes at me and detest even my smallest idiosyncrasies. Then I will start waiting for grandchildren.