Moving On, At Least Temporarily

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It's no secret that I haven't been posting. I'm pretty sure not even my mom is reading this!

As the kids have gotten bigger I haven't felt right sharing our struggles and foibles anymore. Though to be sure we still have our days when things go wrong.

One parting example: last night as Cary was making pizza the oven ceased to heat. He declared the pizza inedible, so we did the only logical thing, which was to order pizza. Simultaneously he suggested he would throw the pizza on the grill to finish cooking it. His grilled pizza was delicious! That was all the kids ate. We now have a refrigerator full of leftover pizza and we still have a broken over.

Baby Cardinal

We've had a plethora of wildlife in our back yard lately, but I managed to get a picture of the baby Cardinal that's been visiting.

We've also had a wild turkey, nicknamed Nika by Lucy, several Northern Flickers, as well as the usual bevy of bunnies, squirrel, red-bellied woodpeckers, hairy woodpeckers, cardinals, blue jays, nut hatches, tufted titmice, orioles, and rose-breasted grossbeaks.

Nika has been coming to our yard for a couple of years now and she's absolutely huge! I'll try to get a decent shot of her next time she's in the neighborhood.

I included a picture of Inga taking a break from watching the birds and attempting to climb the screens that are no longer there.

Compared to just last week she seems enormous.

We did it!

Yesterday we adopted a kitten. I guess that means I'm weak. I made it just over a week without a cat in the house.

I feel so much better already. As I type this the kitten is asleep downstairs. Henry is watching YouTube, Lucy is playing with Moonsand on the deck, and all is temporarily right with the world.

The kitty is 11 weeks old and weighs just over 2 lbs. She has very soft fur, beautiful tabby markings, and is a polydactyl.

Except that we don't just have ONE pet snake outside. We have two! Those were pictures of two different snakes I posted the other day. We're calling them Snakey and Snakina.

We still don't have a name for the kitten, but for once I don't feel like I need to rush into something.

Hair of the Cat

Beware. The following is a long, rambling post. Don't say I didn't warn you.

It has been just over a week since we said goodbye to Sufi. Though I know hardly any time has passed I am still having trouble sleeping, eating, or thinking about anything else besides getting another cat. I don't want to garden or read.

Cary and I have also discussed getting a dog. Specifically getting a Boston Terrier. But here's the thing. There are only a few Boston Terrier breeders around, and it's hard to know if they are reputable or not. But I can go on Petfinder and pick out a dozen adorable cats that might not cause Cary any more allergic discomfort than Sufi did. We're also considering adopting a Siberian, but there's no guarantee that a Siberian kitten will not cause an allergic reaction. Nor do we know how he will do in the presence of a Boston Terrier -- he just thinks they are very cute.

While I know full well that there are many, many worse things in life than losing a pet, I've been stunned by how acute the pain is. I want it to end. I want to take the ragged empty spot in my soul where Sufi used to be and stuff it full of kittens.

And when I'm tired and cranky I have less patience with the kids, and I don't want to do all the things I should do for them, like take them to the park, and feed them balanced meals, and read to them.

But wait, there's more! I took Henry to the dentist today to get a spacer put on two of his teeth. The dentist informed me that she would like to pull two teeth while we were there. So boom. Out came the two teeth! Being exhausted was helpful because I just had to trust her, and he did great. I think the teeth were pretty loose, and his discomfort was minimal. Maybe the tooth fair will bring him a kitten?

Henry also taught Lucy how to play Pokemon Diamond on her DS, so now she's a little video game addict. At least we get a little peace around here once in awhile.

Sufi's Tree

I planted a Corkscrew Willow in Sufi's memory on Thursday morning. Supposedly the Corkscrew Willow is a fast growing tree that will do well in the swampy nether regions of our back yard. I put an ugly deer fence around it to keep the critters away. I will be damned if this tree doesn't thrive.


I'm finding life without our sweet kitten changes how I look at things. Things like snakes. Since we won't be welcoming a new pet home any time soon, I've decided to adopt our snake visitor as an ad hoc pet. I even took pictures. We named him Snakey.

Nothing Gold Can Stay

Today we said goodbye to our sweet Sufi. I was lucky to have 15 wonderful years with her. She was affectionate and playful. I will miss the way she used to put her paw in my hand, or stretch out on my outstretched legs each night. I will miss the little golden patch of fur under her chin. I will miss seeing her watch the birds or nap in the sunshine.

I always knew my mom was the coolest

but now everyone knows just how great her taste in music is.

I have a piece in PopMatters today about how much my mom loves her iPod. I write about how she and my friend Jeff actually buy a lot more music now because they can download MP3s and use the Internet to learn about new bands more easily than in the past.

The negative comments crack me up. It's worth checking out the piece just to see how riled up people can get. At least someone cared enough to complain.

Kent Island vacation photo collage

not pictured: the jellyfish that kept us out of the water for several days, the ne'er do well kids that cops chased into our bushes at 1 am, the edge of Hurricane Bill that flooded the laundry room soaking several guests including Aunt Bob, and the dozen bunches of pine needles that Randy pulled out of the gutter to stop said flood.

Camping photos

Here are a few pics from the expedition to Seneca Lake. Henry and Lucy in jammies with glow sticks, and then our delicious post-camp recovery meal.

Ah, Wilderness

Cary and I agreed (perhaps even suggested) that we spend Saturday night camping on Seneca Lake with our friends who are very outdoorsy. Since we were not planning to cook anything at the campsite, our friends went up a day early so they could make spider dogs and hike. They have a 3 y.o., and a 3 month old. So, yeah, they're pretty intrepid.

Cary and I thought we'd take our kids camping before they developed the same distaste we have for sleeping in the out of doors.

Things started to go wrong not long after we hit the road. We forgot pillows! So we stopped at the Batavia Target to pick up some extras. Our friend called just as we were exiting the highway. I thought he was checking in, but later we found out that he was hoping we hadn't left yet, so we could go look for the rest of the parts of the tent we were borrowing from his mom! (I'm really glad I didn't know that until later.) So his family went to the Watkins Glen Wal-Mart and bought us a tent, which was very sweet. After all, he could have just asked me to pick one up at Target while I was there.

Our first planned stop was at the Fox Run Vinyards Garlic Festival. It was a fun event, full of wine, maple syrup cotton candy, and garlic farmers selling both fresh garlic and products made from the bulb or the scape. I even got some to plant in my yard this fall. So far, so good.

Next we were headed to Earle Estates Meadery since everyone was curious what meade tastes like. When we arrived our friends were nowhere to be found. Their cell phone was off. (Why? Not sure.) So we spent about half an hour waiting and wondering, dodging invitations from a Karaoke-type performer to join him so he could, "play something from The Little Mermaid for the kids." Once our friends arrived (after driving 20 minutes out of the way on a hunch), it was time to try some meade. Overall it was kind of like dessert wine, but less syrupy, and pretty delicious.

Then we drove to the southern tip of Seneca Lake and took a ride on a 75 year old wooden boat. When the Capt. asked if there were any children who wanted to volunteer to drive the boat, Lucy's hand was the first in the air. Henry eventually volunteered as well. Fun all around.

We had dinner at a lackluster restaurant in Watkins Glen, then headed to the campsite. I was a little concerned that the tent we were sleeping in hadn't been opened or assembled and it was already the children's bedtime, but I was determined to have fun.

Once we arrived at the campsite, Cary looked out and said, "Well, we're just an hour and a half from home. We could just turn around." I did want to leave right then. Not only could we see a guardrail at the far side of the campsite, but not even 20 yards away the neighboring campers were playing Thumper, screaming , "What's the name of the game? Thumper? And why do we play the game? To get fucked up!" To their credit they changed the words once they heard the voices of our little children.

For me the low point was when I took Lucy to the bathroom (which was @ least 150 yards from the tent) to change into pajamas and realized I was putting on clean clothes while I dripped with sweat. Surely we would all just keep sweating and then freeze that night.

Cary played his guitar around the campfire, and the kids had glow sticks and s'mores, but the kids really had trouble settling down, and I couldn't relax either. We'd planned to have wine, but no one really wanted it, nor did we need another reason to pee in the middle of the night.

We went to bed around 9:30, but I've got no idea when we actually fell asleep.

These are some of the thoughts we had while not sleeping:

Cary said he felt more empathy for Hurricaine Katrina victims.
I thought about what it must be like to be homeless
Cary thought about the Stephen King story where a time traveler fails to fall asleep and experiences eternity.
I thought about our friend who was waking up every few hours to nurse her baby.

Cary said the next we camped it would be in a tent that had a foundation and brick walls.

Around 3 am it started to rain, not just a sprinkle, but a full-blown storm with thunder and lightning. I'm very happy to report that the new tent didn't leak, and until Henry had to go to the bathroom at 5:30 the tent was dry inside.

As we made our way home we still couldn't understand why people like camping. What a hassle! And we didn't even cook, or put up our own tent. But we did enjoy spending time with our friends, but next time we're going to Toronto, in a hotel with a pool!

If We've Got to Burn Out Let's Do It Together

The kids and I are recovering from a busy weekend that included Cary's and my high school reunion (in three acts with a relatively predictable cast of characters), and a birthday party at Lasertron for Henry.

I was slightly horrified that I'd be sending him off to a party where he'd pretend to shoot other eight year olds, but I gave in because I hate for him to miss a social opportunity. I think that means that I was a victim of peer pressure.

The reunion was pretty fun and very tiring. It unlocked the dusty spaces of my brain and dated memories came flooding out. Everything from the origin of inside jokes to all of the things we did, that now as parents, seem like they were a bad idea. (See previous paragraph for an explanation as to how we got to do them in the first place). I was "in charge of the music" which just meant creating a play list for the evening, heavy on 80s one-hit wonders and 70s classic rock meant to please my classmates more than myself.

Looking at old pictures revealed that wow, all the girls had BIG hair. If there had been a prize for the puffiest bangs, we were all in the running. I think Kirsta wins, not because her hair was the biggest, but because she told us how they had to prop her head against the wall when she got a spiral perm because the rods were too heavy!

Newsy!

We've been busy around here for once. (I wrote about some of this stuff on facebook, but until LHM sees fit to join I must repeat myself here too.)

1. Cary wrote a book! It's called Don't Swear with Your Mouth Full! I'm really biased but I think it's great and could really help parents with difficult children. His approach has helped our family a lot.

2. I interviewed Emily Haines from Metric for VenusZine. The issue will be on sale until June, but it isn't on the web. I made her promise to play a show in Buffalo. I hope she doesn't let me down.

3. In more regularly scheduled news, I reviewed Mirah, Mazes, the Drones, Matt & Kim, and AC Newman at Donnybrook, and Faunts for Venus. I actually liked almost all of these records, except for Faunts, but Mazes was a particular favorite.

Checking in

Just a quick note to say that although Cary and I are both a little overwhelmed and concerned about the plane crash, which was about five miles from our house, we are all fine.

I'm just trying start focusing on something else, but I end up sitting here in front of the computer checking various websites for updates.

Even in the face of this tragedy it makes me glad to see that the firefighters (who are all volunteer -- something like 7 different companies responded to the scene) and all the other people involved in handling the aftermath seem to be doing an amazing job.

The children are completely unfazed, high on Valentine's Day candy, and at the moment I don't even care if they want to eat every last piece (just don't tell them I said so).

UPDATE: We lost a neighbor on the plane. While less of a personal loss for our family, the deceased was our babysitter's father, and she is just the loveliest, most delightful girl. I can't imagine what she is going through.

It was a long afternoon

I learned today that a good friend lost her father. I've known her since first grade and spent so much time at their house over the years that I got to know her father pretty well too. May he rest in peace.

While still reeling from this news I looked outside and saw our neighbors playing with the stray cat that had appeared and then disappeared last week. This was no typical outdoor stray. This cat seemed HUNGRY and came when called. I regretted letting it wander off last week because I knew he had a home, but without a collar I had no idea how to find the owner. It ended up across the street today because it had followed a neighboring high schooler home from school, and she was as taken with the cat as I was.

My neighbor's son suggested checking at one house a few blocks away because he thought he'd seen the cat there. But the trick was that I couldn't leave the house because I was waiting for the cable guy. So I brought the cat inside and put him in the basement. I put Sufi in Lucy's room. I called the Vet's office and the tech suggested making Lost Cat signs which I did.

When Cary came home I had a few minutes before he and Henry left for violin, so I went out to hang the signs. I spotted a neighbor not far from where the cat might have come from. He sent me to one house, who sent me to another, where, I'm not kidding, a guy with a Russian accent was working in his garage with a blowtorch.

Anyway, it turns out the cat was Mr. Blowtorch's. Hurray! So I sped home, scooped the cat into the car and delivered him home. I learned his name was Tommy. To his credit the cat took off again before I could even get back in the car, but at least next time I see him I know he has a place to go to, even though I'd probably run too if my owner was playing with fire in an enclosed area.

What a weird day.

This will be the first week in my life where I'll have gone to multiple wakes. I hope it will be the last.

Not so great news from the Vet

The Vet called to say she got the report back from the Histopath regarding Sufi's tumor. The Histopath thought the Vet didn't get the whole tumor. Shit. But he couldn't be sure. Which leaves me wondering why the hell couldn't he be sure? The Vet tried to pawn the blame off on the lab techs that took the sample for the histopath. I really don't care who is to blame I just wish the news was better.

In annoying, but less important news, I spent the morning running around trying to get a NYS enhanced driver's license. And I learned something about myself. No, not that I hate senseless buracracy, but that my birth certificate is not valid proof of citizenship. Apparently in the state of Illinois it was (is?) commonplace to give out a hospital certificate with a little poem about angels and my mother's thumbprint. However I never received a copy of the state's record of my birth, which is the only proof NYS or the US Govt will accept for creating travel documents. So, close to $50 later, nearly 1/2 of which was for UPS overnight shipping (why do they only give me one choice for shipping and it costs $19!), I will have all the documentation I need to spend another $80 on the enhanced driver's license, so I can still go to Canada. Grr.

It was another long day

but hey, that's my bread and butter.

Have I mentioned the new computer? Yah. The computer itself is actually fine, but the ancillary TiVo impersonators and the router were giving me fits. I spent three hours on the phone with tech support today. Then a quick call to my knowledgeable brother-in-law solved everything. As of now we have a working system, but I'm not confident that it will still work tomorrow.

In more important news, I took Sufi in to have a tumor removed from her upper lip. She's at least 13, and with each passing year I worry more about her health. The surgery went really well, though the portion of her lip and cheek on the left side of her face is no more. Still as sweet as ever, she sat on my lap and purred all evening, even though she has shaved whiskers and an Elizabethan collar.

The last place I saw it was in my hand as I was shoving into the mailbox

One Watch. I found Cary's watch!!! I realized I didn't actually remember seeing it outside of Target, so after checking the RX desk about a week ago with no luck I decided to ask at Customer Service. Bingo! There was the watch. He can fix his own damn battery.

Two visits. I went to my in-laws twice today. First to pick up Cary's grandfathers masonic memorabilia and second to pick up empty boxes that my father-in-law was too exhausted to collapse. They are currently in the back of my van. Anybody need some empty liquor boxes or a hideous floral display? The worst part is that garbage day was today on our street. (I'm not sure why he gave me the floral display -- I think because his garbage cans were full. If I were a better blogger I'd take a picture, but alas, just imagine metallic, silk, and plastic jutting at odd angles from a jar).

Three Reviews. I reviewed Nisennenmondai and Arms (a Harlem Shakes side project -- who knew 3/5 of the Harlem Shakes went to Yale?) for Donnybrook. I don't know where my Takka Takka review for Venus is -- I turned it in last month, but it's on P4k today and I liked the CD way less than Joshua Klein did.

Four Eyes. I got my glasses today. I really dislike them. For the first eight hours that I wore them I thought my head was going to explode. The Optician's office told me that RXs which are mostly for astigmatism (like mine) rather than magnifying stuff don't fix things immediately, so I'm not passing judgment yet. It's just that I was really looking forward to being able to see again.

See a Let's French video before the band's inevitable demise...

Check out the first and only video from my brother-in-law Randy's band -- that's "Coco Randy" to Lucy. Too bad the band's members are scattering to four different countries come September.

I Broke My Crown

1. The kittens finally have names my dad can remember. Kitten number one is now Teddy, and kitten number two remains Twoey. My mom has suggested that she might name them Tedric and Toulouse, but use the other names all the time. If that happens I don't think anyone but the Vet's office will know about it.

2. It looks like my Croscosmia Lucifer is going to bloom for the first time ever. This is the third year I have had it but the deer ate it, and it has taken awhile to bounce back. One of my Canna Lillies also has a very large unopened bloom on it. If either of these plants look good at some point I will post pictures. I am sure you are all waiting expectantly.

3. Most of Cary's family got together yesterday. His parents, 6 (out of 8) siblings, 5 spouses/boyfriends, and 15 (out of 17) grandkids. Nothing went wrong; it was really fun. My kids had a great time with their cousins. The cupcakes that were intended for dessert were gone by 3:30.

My father-in-law staged a wine tasting that included some red wine from India. We all concluded it was horrible! Not even safe to add to your curry.

Although at one point Lucy tripped and fell. My father-in-law started reciting Jack and Jill to her while my Mother-in-law went to grab a band aid. Now she will look at me gravely at random intervals and say, "Mommy, I broke my crown."

Gone Wrong Miscellany

1. Kitten Update: Mo has now been officially re-christened Twoey after I admitted to my mom that my dad and I were referring to him as Twoey in private.

2. I have had migraines three out of the last four days. So, not surprisingly I have been extremely distracted by the white noise inside my own head. I now have an appointment with the M.D. neuro as opposed to the P.A. that I usually see since I no longer think that my treatment is going the way I would like. Hopefully by early July I will have some answers. But I will do just about anything to avoid another transfusion and the drugs that followed it. At least now I know.

3. Cary and I spent the weekend trying to buy a grill. Normally such an inane domestic purchase would not be worth blogging about but we are so hopelessly inept, even at shopping for something like a grill, that even though our hand-me-down grill has been broken for a year, and we have been planning to buy a grill for over a month, it still took us more than 24 hours to choose a stupid grill. We have concluded that we like getting household items given to us for free (duh) not just because its cheap but because we have so much trouble making a decision. This is why most of our furniture used to belong to someone else, and some is held together with bungee cords. It's much easier than picking out something new. Thank god they put it together for us.

4. I spent a portion of the afternoon spraying homemade insecticidal soap (rubbing alcohol, dishsoap, and water) on much of my garden because I have a pretty serious four lined plant bug infestation. It is more of an annoyance than anything else, but they were all over my asters, which were struggling as it is. Hopefully they will still bloom this fall.

5. This is the last week of Kindergarten.